Don’t Mistake Her Normal Habits for “Something More”
29 Mar 2011 Leave a Comment
Things men think are come-on’s from women when they are, in actuality, not come-on’s at all:
1. Telling him you liked a picture of his, or complimenting his looks. It’s 2011 and we are not afraid of getting stoned by a mob of angry, hypocritical men as much as we used to be. However, this year’s political stances have me rethinking my future personal security. Handmaid’s Tale here we come!
2. Doing the meaningless “We should hang out sometime” bit, and not really meaning it. In actuality, this is done with other members of the human race as well, just for your personal reference.
3. Nearing closer to him. Could we per chance be moving away from an even creepier person? Check the context, people.
4. Being interested in something he has to say. Having common “interests” is not a sign of “interest” in the other person.
5. Being delighted to see him. Liking a person doesn’t usually mean anything more than that. There are six billion people in the world that this person also has a potential to be delighted in the presence of. I’ve nearly soiled my pants upon seeing female friends I hadn’t seen for prolonged periods of time. I, however, do not want to stick my tongue down their throat.
6. Doing him a favor. ESPECIALLY after he pulled your arm to do it in the first place.
7. Looking at him (Get real, people).
8. Exchanging jokes with a man. Women have jokes. Don’t make us feel like we wasted them on an unappreciative, narrow-minded jackass. Bask in the brilliance of clever rhetoric!
9. Agreeing to accompany a man anywhere outside of where the two of you interact with each other regularly, such as work, school, etc.. It’s 2011, this is not Saudi Arabia, AND we’re packing pepper spray anyway (or at least we should be).
10. Doing/saying something stupid in his presence, up to and including doing stupid things in relation to something he did or his presence. Making mistakes and doing stupid things such as faux pas’ are normally things we do regardless of who it is that we are around. If a person is ridiculous in one way, they are ridiculous in many ways as a general rule.
11. Just being generally awkward. Some women (and men) are just awkward no matter where you place them. Assuming they are awkward due to your existence is an asinine idea. Way to be self-absorbed.
Any of these assumptions can possibly make a few of us resent you for life ^_^
